About a year ago, I got the wheels in motion to start this blog/website. For several years, I’ve had numerous people tell me, “you need to start a blog!” So after the umpteenth person, I finally listened. Sort of. But then, nothing really resonated with me. To write and share publicly, being authentic was a priority. Yet I struggled with needing a direction, a topic, an angle so to speak. Early on I couldn’t decide how much I wanted to include my kids, then realized they continually shape me and are integral to my personal growth. I wanted things to look “just so” right away. A few people were begging me to share more about food – how I cook, budget, feed my kids, pack lunches, etc. Others wanted me to share my favorite must-haves and tips on buying baby gear, completing baby registries, kids toys and the like. In another corner altogether, some were asking about parenting (as if I somehow have answers worth sharing. LOL!). I’ve gotten a bit overwhelmed and sidetracked. I’ve also been paralyzed by my perfectionist tendencies. And that in turn has held me back. I focused so much on a particular vision (that was blurry at best), that I didn’t get anything out there.
At the core of things, I suspect the requests for me to produce some content stem from being a voracious researcher who seems to have a knack for remembering things, or at least filing it away in my head where it can be retrieved most of the time. I’m overly analytical and I abhor buyers remorse, hence the researching. I never really thought I was unique – maybe I am, maybe I’m not. It doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m type-A (shocker), and I’m inherently wound pretty tight. I have to constantly tell myself that there is more than one way to do something (aka MY way isn’t the only/best way – but it usually is). The topics people ask for – baby wearing, lunch packing, registry guidance, grocery budgeting – are topics that I have lots of thoughts to share, but putting the proverbial ‘pen to paper’ felt like work. And then I’d get hung up on the end product being free of grammatical errors, and making sense (imagine that!), and demonstrating cohesive thought, and and and… I delivered nothing. Again, paralyzed by my perfectionist tendencies.
Well, I need to put my money where my mouth is and aim for a little more ‘So What!?’ in what I publish. Maybe it’ll be interesting, maybe it won’t. Maybe it will have pictures, maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll write frequently, maybe I won’t. I’m just going to let go and see what happens… There. Now you know just a little bit more about me and my neurosis so maybe I can finally just get on with things.